The Premise
The terrain
Group chats, hallways, locker rooms, lunch tables. Cliques, relational aggression, and digital exclusion play out in adult blind spots.
The paradox
Kids are asked to navigate a complex social hierarchy at exactly the age their brains are least wired for cool-headed compromise.
The objective
Move students from waiting for an adult to step in toward handling conflict on their own, calmly and fairly.
The Shift
A student who finishes the Playbook doesn't avoid conflict. They walk into it differently. Four small habits do most of the work.
They pause before they react
The first win is a half-second of space between the trigger and the response, just enough to pick a tool instead of a reflex.
They ask what the other person wants
Curiosity replaces accusation. "Why does this matter to you?" turns an opponent into a problem two people can solve together.
They buy themselves time
Letting the other person explain takes the pressure off. You get a few free seconds to plan a response instead of blurting one.
They aim for a handshake
The goal isn't to win. It's a compromise both sides can actually live with. That's where every move points.
"The goal isn't a world without conflict. It's a generation that can sit inside one and still reach for fair."
The Toolbox · I.M.T.D
The core of the curriculum is a four-step move built on mirroring, the technique FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss made famous. Students learn it activity-first: they feel it in a role-play before they ever see the letters I · M · T · D.
The source
Chris Voss
Former lead international kidnapping negotiator for the FBI and author of Never Split the Difference. His practical tools, tactical empathy and mirroring, were built from real high-stakes crises, then adapted here for the hallway and the group chat.
A conflict starts with a jab: "I find your dog annoying." The instinct is to fire straight back. The first skill is simply to notice the opening and stay calm instead of escalating.
Echo their own words: "You find my dog annoying?" A mirror makes them expand ("am I missing something?") and gives them something to prove, so they keep talking and reveal what they actually want.
While they explain, the pressure is off you. This is your time to think. The only question to answer: how can I respond to reach a compromise I actually want?
One small mirror has flipped the whole exchange: it made them expand on the why, put you on the offensive, and bought you time to think. That's what turns a standoff into a handshake.
In early adolescence the emotional brain (amygdala) matures faster than the reasoning brain (prefrontal cortex). A mirror works as a scaffold: just three or four words, easy to reach for under stress, and it buys the thinking brain the seconds it needs to catch up.
See it in action
The role-play students ran in the Noble & Greenough Model UN pilot, a live test of I.M.T.D under pressure.
Get into pairs: one student is the USA, the other is Russia. In unmoderated caucus the USA keeps interrupting, and even threatens nukes. The question on the table: how do both sides get what they want?
Run it cold first. It usually spirals: two delegates talking over each other, nobody listening, no compromise in sight.
Run it again with the framework: mirror the interruption instead of fighting it, use the time their answer buys, and steer toward a deal both delegations can actually sign.
Debrief: what did we learn? How did I.M.T.D help find a mutual compromise, and how would you adapt it for a calmer, or a more aggressive, opponent?
Read the room
A mirror only works if you can read what the other person's body is already telling you, and control what yours says back.
Watch hands, facial expressions, and body language. A repeated motion or a strong reaction tells you which detail actually matters to them.
Keep hands in the active space around chest level, face the person, lean in to confirm and step back when something's wrong. Clear signals beat random movement.
Short beats long. A brief, well-timed response lands harder, and can shut down a conversation that's drifting the wrong way.
Oakland Unified School District builds the same instinct into a routine: students sit in a circle and take turns speaking. One person shares a problem, and before anyone responds, the others repeat it back and ask questions. It's mirroring, built right into the structure of the room.
Strategic Network
Four organizations anchor this curriculum, from independent-school Model UN rooms to a statewide service corps. Each brings a different audience, setting, and reason the work matters.
0
Students who have
gone through the Playbook
4
Partner organizations
351
MA cities & towns reached
6+
Years of service history
11-14
Age range
The first pilot runs inside the Middle School Model UN, a room where negotiation is already the native language. That makes it an ideal place to pressure-test the lessons.
1st
Pilot cohort
What they bring: a structured debate setting and students primed to practice persuasion.
Four target workshops for underprivileged kids across Greater Boston. They bring the same toolbox to students who rarely get dedicated conflict-resolution instruction.
4
Target workshops
What they bring: reach into communities where access is the whole point.
Built on 6+ years inside the Teen Leadership Corps, a relationship deep enough that the curriculum lands as part of an established service culture, not a one-off visit.
6+
Years embedded
What they bring: trust and continuity from years of shared work.
We're planning to run sessions during the statewide Launch and Reunion meetings, where one 8th-grade ambassador from each of Massachusetts' 351 cities and towns gathers, tying the work directly to the upstander mission.
351
Towns represented
What they bring: statewide scale and a ready audience of young leaders.
How a partnership works
Every partner gets the same core toolbox, adapted to their setting. The shape of a collaboration is deliberately simple.
We map the toolbox onto the group (a Model UN room, a service corps, a workshop) so the examples feel native, not borrowed.
A facilitated, activity-driven session, with the partner's own staff alongside so the practice can continue after we leave.
We gather feedback, leave facilitator guides behind, and fold what we learned into the next room.
The strongest partners already care about how young people treat each other: a debate program, an equity-focused workshop, a service corps, a statewide leadership network. The curriculum doesn't replace what they do; it gives their students a shared language for the hardest part.
The Master Plan
A first draft of the curriculum, then pilots, then scale, then impact reports that show what it changed.
Late Spring & Summer 2026
Translate Harvard-level negotiation theory into activity-first lessons built for a middle school audience. That means swapping jargon for plain language and tying every concept to a game or role-play.
Fall 2026
First live runs with Noble & Greenough and the Achieve Program, two very different rooms that together show what lands everywhere and what needs sharpening before scaling.
Winter 2026-2027
Scale into local public schools, community programs, and the founder's karate dojo. Eleven years as a martial arts student and five years teaching it as a 2nd-degree black belt help refine delivery across very different settings.
Spring 2027
Gather testimonials and produce state impact reports to prove the model works. A year of sessions becomes evidence that can guide the next cohort and attract new partners.
What proof looks like
The plan ends in evidence, not just activity. By spring 2027 the goal is a clear picture of what the curriculum actually changes for the students who go through it.
2
Pilot rooms in fall 2026
4
Settings by spring 2027
351
Towns within reach
1
State impact report
About Me
Sanjit Govindarajan
Founder, Negotiations Playbook
Creating the Negotiations Playbook taught me one of the most important lessons about negotiation. A curriculum about negotiation could never be built in isolation. Every workshop and conversation has strengthened the Playbook. Every student, teacher, and mentor who has shared feedback has helped me see the curriculum from a new perspective. Their thoughtful questions, insights, and suggestions have continually refined the Playbook, making it far stronger than I could have developed on my own.
That collaborative process continues today. The Playbook is meant to evolve with the people who use it, and I would genuinely love to hear your thoughts. Whether you are a teacher interested in bringing it to your classroom, a student who would like to help facilitate a session, or simply someone with ideas or questions, I welcome your feedback. Please feel free to reach out anytime at sanjit.govind2010@gmail.com. Every suggestion helps make the Playbook more practical, more meaningful, and more impactful for the students it is designed to serve.
6+
Years of community service
11
Years training in martial arts
Eleven years training and five years teaching, some of my students as young as three. One beginner spent a whole class tying and untying his belt while the others kicked. My instructor watched me get frustrated and said, "You were trying to teach the belt. You forgot to teach the student." I started watching the person, not the technique.
As a Model UN captain I learned delegates rarely change their minds because someone gave a better speech. They change when they feel heard. A good question in an unmoderated caucus did more than another argument. Mock Trial taught the same thing: work out why each witness remembers the day differently instead of assuming one version is the truth.
Volunteering at a senior center, a food pantry, and More Than Words, I saw how little the hours logged and boxes packed really capture. The conversations do. Everyone's story runs well past the few minutes you spend with them, and most of what gets done comes from people caring more about a shared goal than about their differences.
My approach
When a disagreement starts, my instinct used to be to load up a counterargument. Now I try to stop for a second before I answer. That small gap is usually where a better response comes from.
A real question does more work than another point. What matters most to the other person? Once I know that, the conversation usually has more room in it than it first looked like it did.
I repeat the other person's point in their own words before I give mine. It proves I was listening, and it almost always gets them to explain what they actually want.
Winning an argument and solving a problem are not the same goal. I try for the solution neither of us had at the start, the one everyone can actually support.
My Resources
Everything the Playbook has made: curriculum materials, the first live session, the Model UN pilot footage, and every video and short from the channel.
A photo from the very first live run of the Negotiations Playbook.
Footage from the Noble & Greenough Model UN pilot, sped up to watch quickly.
The presentation behind the curriculum: tactical empathy and the four-step I.M.T.D framework.
Mind maps, the mediation framework, slide decks, and facilitator notes. This is the core of what gets used in a session.
The first-session photo and the sped-up Model UN pilot footage, proof the curriculum works in a real room.
From the channel
Every short and full episode from the Negotiations Playbook YouTube channel. This list refreshes automatically as new videos publish.
0:33Say the worst thing first and watch what happens
Before you deliver bad news, name every objection they're about to throw at you…
0:34The question that beats saying no
When someone hands you an unfair deal, don't fight it — ask "how am I supposed to…
0:34The harder you push, the harder they push back
The harder you push someone, the harder they push back It's physics, and it's people
0:36The one word that starts every fight
They left you out of the group chat and you're typing you guys are so fake Delete it
0:35Why your arguments never actually end
Two kids both want the last orange They split it in half, right? Wrong
0:37Tactical empathy — labeling
Someone's furious and you want them to chill Don't say calm down, that's gasoline
0:32Just repeat their last three words
When a friend is venting and you have no idea what to say, repeat their last few…
0:30Welcome to Negotiations Playbook!
Negotiations Playbook · Reaching agreement without escalation.
Additional Resources
The talks and reading behind the Negotiations Playbook, covering FBI negotiation and restorative practice in schools. Not my work, but the work that shaped it.
Get Involved
Whether you lead a classroom, a service program, or a youth organization, there's a place for you in helping middle schoolers turn conflict into calm, fair agreement.
Ways to help
Schools, Model UN programs, and service organizations can run the Playbook with their students. We adapt the sessions to your setting and leave facilitator guides behind.
Educators, mentors, and older students can train to lead the activities, run the role-plays, and guide the debrief in rooms near you.
Materials, travel, and pilot sessions take resources. A contribution helps bring conflict-resolution skills to students who rarely get dedicated instruction.
Know a teacher, counselor, or program director who would value this? An introduction is one of the most valuable ways to help the work reach more students.
Follow along
Short, practical negotiation lessons for students, posted daily on both channels.
Reach out
Tell us about your school or organization and how you would like to be involved, and we will follow up.
Negotiations Playbook · Reaching agreement without escalation.
